I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
