you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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