she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
