He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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