I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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