she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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