it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
