I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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