please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
