Im at strip club and am horny
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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