using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
