I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I need moral support for this bender
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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