You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
