I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
