so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
