i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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