some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
