You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
