I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
