I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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