Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
