Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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