The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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