I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You ruined the universe
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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