Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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