I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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