She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
