Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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