She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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