try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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