So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
