They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize