Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
