u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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