after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
