the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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