you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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