hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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