suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
