I hope mine doesn't look like that
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
