This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
