fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
