I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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