What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this just has baby written all over it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
