please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
