Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
