Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize