yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
