Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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