you guys were way drunker than both of me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I want her autograph on my taint
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
