I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
