I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
