I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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