Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
