READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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