So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
