I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize