i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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