Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
