i love accidental penises.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
