Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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