I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
