so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
